His and Her Universe

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I am finding my own space in a universe compose of just him and her. I am beginning to build insecurities asking myself what’s the difference between me and her and how he cannot let go of her. I am sorry for pushing my place in his life, but honestly I am feeling sorrier for myself trying to find my own little place with a person who cannot give me enough space to seek in.

What’s with her? What’s with her that turned all his cants into cans? Am I not enough to become his first priority? Out of all the people listed on his priorities, I do not even know if I am there. I am jealous, insecure and envious. I grew up comforting myself that I should be okay, I should feel fine about every comparisons which may take place throughout my whole life. Never did I foresee and prepared myself for much bigger comparisons which can awaken all these insecurities. I will never be enough I guess, he made me feel so worthless just by talking about her all throughout our conversation. I will always be the girl who should listen how he adored her, how she made him feel, and how she made him fell; I will always be that girl. I will always be the one who will listen and pretend to be fine even though deep inside I wished it was me whom he was talking about.

I am wondering if he ever did mention me unto others, because I could brag him all along to my friends. I am wondering if he ever wrote just a verse appreciating and telling how I made him feel because me, every verses was written for him and it was all either painfully or lovely written.

Until when should our situation be like this? My insecurities are killing me each time he talks about her but all I can do is pretend, that’s all I can do because I cannot fight with her place in his life. I am no one while she’s the one, her story is all I should listen about and I am just a listener without the rights to complain. Lucky her, she has the guy I wished was mine but will never be mine.